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She loved this spot. She’d often gone here when she felt in need of some peace, no matter how brittle and short-lived, it was one of the few places where she had not felt any stress, and where the stifling unhappiness that had come over her so soon in her marriage seemed a little distant. There was the buzz of insects, and the sound of the water over the stones, the wind in the trees talking of distances and far-off fields. The peace and quiet would make her relax a little. She could allow herself to let her shoulders sag, at home she’d always draw them up unwittingly, as if she were afraid someone would hit her. Not that John ever had, he hadn’t been physically involved with her apart from the rare times they made love – she pulled a face. Made love, indeed. It was a strange term for something rather obnoxious… Almost immediately in their marriage he’d started to find fault with most of the things she did. He would look at her, and when she’d spent some time at whatever activity. Butfiguring that I had to become more comfortable with myself, I walkedinto the shower and let the warm water cascade down my body. I felteach drop as it caressed my skin while l lathered up the soap and letthe wash cloth rub against me. Knowing that I wanted to look and feelmy best I shaved my underarms and legs, feeling the steel of the LadySchick shaver taking the moist and silky cream away. I dried myself offand wrapped a towel around my hair and body. Mom had actually taken meout after a little talk to buy some feminine products for me. Therewere plenty of things that I never had a reason to use. The first thingI picked up was a spray bottle of something called "Summer's Eve". Shesaid that it would make me feel fresh "down there." I laughed at thatthought but as I sprayed it I did feel and smell a little fresher."Always trust mom's word," I thought to myself. Walking over to thevanity I stopped and gazed at the reflection for a minute. Looking backwas a scared but anxious young.
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